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Surgery scheduled, another personal update

hope


My surgery is scheduled for July 17.

Every time I get ready to make these updates I second guess myself. While I know people are concerned and have me in their thoughts, I'm also a very private person. Sharing these things is difficult.

I've opted for mastectomy and reconstruction, so I know the year ahead is going to be filled with ups and downs. Trying to keep a positive attitude, but sometimes it's difficult. Daily walks are helping with the motivation, but giving up my beloved wine has been a struggle. One way or another I'll get through it.

Of course, this cancer has really put a dent in my creativity. I'm sitting here with two stories all outlined, but no drive or desire to work on either one of them. My fear is that when I finally have the chance to work on them no one will remember, or care. It's frustrating, but it is what it is.

I tend to think of all of my stories as individual children, and I tie them to various points in my life. For example, The King's Tale is my first, and my favorite. It was published at a time when my life was in turmoil due to starting a new phase in my career. Promises and Lies is always my red-headed step child, so misunderstood. Most of it was created during this career turmoil period.

Unfortunately, Red Sunset was born into this cancer chaos, and it's likely that I'll always tie the two together in my mind. I think this is why the lackluster reception hurts.

I won't update again for a while. The plastic surgeon [literally the most compassionate doctor I've dealt with in this whole nightmare] says that the first week will be miserable, but that things will start to get better after that. I will update when I find out the results. I'm hoping that the cancer was indeed encapsulated, and that no further treatment will be necessary, but I've been on the wrong side of the odds through this whole journey, so one never knows.

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Comments

hawk_soaring
Jul. 11th, 2013 08:41 pm (UTC)
*hugs you tight* Good luck with the surgery and the diagnosis. I will be here for you should you need me.
rowenasudbury
Jul. 12th, 2013 12:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! *hugs*